Your Heart’s Desire

How can I tell you that anything you want to do, you can, without sounding trite?

“Oh, you don’t have children do you Leanne? That’s why you can do these things,” someone said to me a while back when I was sharing with her about my travels.

Something about what she said didn’t feel right. What did it matter that I did or didn’t have children? Did she have children and was this her reason for not doing what she wanted to do?

I have a girlfriend who had a baby when she was 17. She didn’t have any money. She didn’t have a family around her to support her or to help out and she was a solo-mom. This could have been a sentence for a different life from the one she chose.

She continued her studies, got her master’s degree, started up a business (or two) and became a millionaire.

I have another friend who had 3 children, all the while she started up a very successful business and maintained her role as the CEO right through the births. The children were well taken care of, well adjusted and healthy mentally and emotionally.

Now this isn’t about being a mother and it isn’t about having children.

It is about doing what you want—following your soul’s heart. It’s about not holding yourself back because of__________.

There were many reasons why I should not have gone on this 12-month road trip: no stable income; no home base; 57 years old and I should work on getting myself settled in business and not be moving around; my body wasn’t as strong as it used to be; chronic digestive disorder (diarreah) that hadn’t healed meaning I had to be near a toilet often throughout the whole day.

Any one of these issues could have been reason enough to stop me.

It’s kind of funny, well maybe more strange, that in our soul’s heart is desire to do something or fulfil on something—and there are times when we don’t do it. We even create reasons to not do it to justify to ourselves and others that it’s okay to not follow our heart.

Sometimes we turn away from our soul’s desire because we are afraid, or maybe it’s because we don’t want to hurt someone. Maybe we don’t want to face the consequences of going in a different direction from what others expect.

This is where courage comes in. It takes courage to face the fear, and keep moving towards your dream. It takes courage to face the fear of others’ judgement, the fear of losing love, the fear of being alone, the fear of failing, the fear of success.

Embarking on my road trip I faced all those fears, including “will I find a toilet when I need one?” As I keep stepping through the fears, so much help, support and love has shown up…daily! Sometimes I feel like my chest is going to burst it’s filled with so much love!

The thing that’s so strange about not following our heart is—when we do follow our soul’s heart, life gets better! How can anyone not want that?

Yesterday I was driving from Withlacoochee River, Florida to New Orleans on I-19. Acoustic Eidolon playing loud in the background, I danced in the driver’s seat of my truck. The road was so beautiful. I was in love with every tree I passed, and there were so many of them!

Out of the corner of my eye a flashing orange light from my dashboard caught my attention. “Tire pressure issue” it said. Does that mean I have a flat tire? My heart began to beat a little faster. In an instant the movie screen of my mind went to scenarios of being stuck on the side of the road, calling the CAA (Canadian Auto Association) for roadside help and having problems because I’m in the US. Quickly I pulled my mind back to the present where I felt much better.

I checked when I would reach the next gas station. 34kms the GPS said. That’s too far. I need something now.

An exit from the highway was coming up. I took it. About a half a mile in the sign said: Jason’s Auto Repair. I smiled. Help was right there in a little town called Holt in Florida.

Jason checked all my tires. The front right one was 10 pounds low. He said it wasn’t serious but a good thing I stopped. As we talked I mentioned to him that I didn’t use the Air Conditioning because it leaked into the front passenger seat.

“That’s easy. I’ll fix that for you,” he said.

Everything was sorted in 20 minutes. “How much do I owe you?”

He shook his head, smiled and waved. “Nothing. Have a great trip.”

Happy. Smiling. Heart filled. I carried on, until I needed to fill up with gas.

I locked the car door and went in to pay for the gas. When I returned the key wouldn’t work. It was one of those security keys you press to open and close the door. I had been having trouble with it for a couple days now and had been ignoring doing anything about it.

I imagined being stranded at the gas station being unable to get into my car.

“I’m sorry I thought you were someone I knew with hair like yours, but I can see that you’re not her. Sorry to bother you.” A man had walked up to me while I was standing there staring at my car.

Ask him, a little voice in my head said.

“Well, while you’re here….” I told him my situation. He turned out to be the perfect guy. He drove several types of vehicles and they all had keys like this. It was a battery problem. He cleaned off some corrosion on the battery in my key and then pressed the key. The familiar clicking sound and the door unlocked just fine. I will need a new battery soon but at least I won’t be stranded!

Happy. Smiling. Heart filled. I carried on.

This is what has happened with every issue or need I have had. It’s like dancing with the universe, as I listen (pay attention to my intuition), follow (take action), trust (move with the moment without hesitation), and keep speaking out to say what I want, to declare what I need, and to connect with people.

When I am listening to my heart, and sometimes it takes a little while before I’m ready to take action (like the 5 years it took to move from New Zealand back to North America), but when I say: “Okay, I’m going” the waters of the ocean part to make that happen. And rather than think of the problems I’ll encounter, my mind thinks of questions like this:

How do I handle _____?

What do I need to make sure _______ is taken care of?

And the answers come.

What’s in your soul’s heart? What do you long for? If there were no obstacles in your way, what would you do?

Loving you always,

Leanne xo